Technology has added thousands of fantastic advantages to our society. It allows us to be more efficient and to accomplish thousands of tasks that were simply not possible a few years ago.
However, some parts of the new technology are likely to contribute to a rise in the divorce rate in America and perhaps throughout western civilization.
Millions of husbands and wives are now addicted to their cell phones, their lap tops, their desktops and their tablets.
“In my psychotherapy practice, I am seeing many spouses who are complaining that their spouses are addicted to the technology.
In the last few months, I must have seen thirty couples and families in which technology addiction was contributing to the psychological problems within the family system.
When I suggest that they turn off their cell phones during dinner and prior to going to sleep, I frequently encounter a great deal of defensiveness and resistance,” says Jay P. Granat, Ph.D., Psychotherapist, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Author and Founder of www.HighNetWorthDivorces.com
What Is Causing This Addiction?
The internet does offer a great deal of information, stimulation and provides a constant barrage of immediate feedback and immediate gratification.
Some people are viewing pornography.
Others are following their sports team and their fantasy teams in a rather compulsive manner.
Some research shows that people check their phones one hundred and fifty times per day.
Some spouses are arranging affairs via the internet.
Some people must have constant contact with social media.
Others are addicted to video games.
And some people with demanding jobs cannot stand to be away from their work for even a brief period of time.
How Serious Are These Addictions?
Phone and technology addiction is widespread.
Look at how many people still text and drive cars.
Watch a group of young people eating dinner together. Frequently, all of them are on their phones while they eat. They are not talking to the “live human beings” who are sitting at the table with them.
Young kids frequently bring their technology toys to the diner table.
People are on their phones while running, bike riding and skateboarding.
At sporting events, people have their phones in their hands for the entire game.
“A colleague of mine who is a guidance counselor in a middle school, notes that when the teachers confiscate a cell phone, students show up in the guidance office and ask if they can visit their phones and hold their phones for just a few minutes, according to Dr. Granat, the founder of the new directory and referral service www.HighNetWorthDivorces.com
“Recently, I attended a live performance by Jerry Seinfeld in Las Vegas and he remarked about how people become quite nervous if they leave their homes with only a forty percent charge in their all important cell phones.
Seinfeld’s humor is based on observing people. And he is right on with this idea,” says Dr. Granat.
Why Will Technology Contribute To A Higher Divorce Rate?
Psychiatrists, psychologists, marriage counselors, and divorce attorneys know that addictions frequently contribute to marital stress and to the termination of relationships.
This new addiction to technology distracts couples from communicating with one another and creates emotional distance between spouses in the same way that an addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling or shopping can help to ruin a marriage.
To make matters worse, some people are addicted to their phones as well as alcohol, gambling or drugs.
Furthermore, when a spouse is on his or her phone constantly, it can create suspicion and harm the kind of trust that is a foundation of a healthy marriage.
No Longer Any Fear Of Being Single
The internet is very efficient at connecting men in search of women and women in search of men. People in search of partners for relationships or for sex have an abundance of internet sites and services which they easily activate and utilize.
In the past, the fear of being alone kept some people in challenging marriages.
Now with the new technology, there is no reason to believe that you will be alone if you leave your spouse. In fact, you can have dozens of dates instantly, if you so desire.
Teens And Children Are Modeling What Parents Do
Youngsters often imitate what they see parents do. If parents drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes, their children are more likely to do what they see mom and dad do than are kids who are raised by parents who do not use alcohol or tobacco.
Consider what dinner time with every family member on their phones will look like and feel like. The distance, distraction and lack of interpersonal interaction cannot be good for a family.
Furthermore, the modeling the tech addiction might contribute to the erosion of family relationships and may contribute to a breakdown of the family system.
Tips To Manage Your Addiction And Save Your Marriage
There are a few strategies and techniques that you can implement to manage and hopefully end this addiction:
Turn off your phone and all technology at meal time.
Turn off your phone and all technology one hour before bedtime.
Do not ever text and drive.
Leave your technology at home when you go on vacation.
Delay your impulse to pick up your phone.
Spend more time in face to face conversations with your spouse.
Have more face to face chats with your children.
Remind yourself that your cell phone can destroy your marriage.
Practice meditation instead of getting on your phone.
Substitute exercise in place of your excessive phone time.
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